By Alice Gallagher:
“But for you who fear My name the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings; and you will go forth and skip about like calves from the stall.” Malachi 4:2 “. . . Through the progressive worsening of my seizures, God has continued to provide me with comfort and strength through the love of my friends and brothers and sisters in Christ: they have made great sacrifices with unrelenting kindness- from helping to fund a trip for me to go see a specialist in California and then actually traveling there with me, to simply being there for me so constantly, such acts reflective of Christ’s love have finally allowed me to rest in the knowledge that I am not unwanted. Most essentially what has brought hope to the tangle of fear and frustration that the seizures have cast on my life is the verse Matthew 17:23: And while they were there gathering together in Galilee, Jesus said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of men, and they will kill him, and He will be raised on the third day.” And they were deeply grieved. It struck me one day that if the disciples had understood at that time what it meant that Jesus was explaining to them how the reconciliation of mankind to God was going to take place, or if they had at least had the retrospect of knowing about the resurrection event, they would have been able to see how pointless it was for them to become so “deeply grieved.” Following that train of thought, I believe providentially, it occurred to me that I have no need to feel so helpless about my seizure disorder and its consequences on my life. I have the retrospect that the disciples had not: the knowledge of Christ’s saving grace. Likewise, I can take the seemingly hopeless situation of my seizures in retrospect: my soul, once broken, is healed by the mystery of Christ’s redeeming work. In the same way, so is my body destined to be healed, whether it be on earth or after, at my ascension to be with Christ. So even though God has chosen, at this point, to withhold healing of my seizures, I can rejoice in the hope I have in the resurrection of Jesus Christ, that he has made my soul new and someday I will have a new body to match. In the meantime, when I feel grotesquely unlovable, like a burden to others, God loves me with an incredible love,so much that he gave Himself to DEATH to save my soul, and he continues to sustain and protect me in ways that never cease to amaze. S.D. Gl.